Don't know what is happening to me but lately I have been so happy... not happy as in me usually being happy but REALLY happy... and for NO good reason at all... like absolutely nothing has been bringing me down... maybe it is because i have been running again and it is releasing all the stress, and I come home to a hot meal and watch tv and then have a laugh or two with my pops... and my mamasita when she calls... it is just great... no stress... not even my little annoying brother Anesu (Gwanti) can bring me down with his issues... it is great... I mean yesterday my older brother woke me up at 2am and kept calling 'til like 4am and despite having only 1.5 hours of sleep I still got up for him and not get cranky for him calling me up continously asking me for me to pay for his chinese food that he had ordered with my ex classmate from Russia, while in Kansas... hahaha... so random... I dont know I was too happy to talk to him to even care about a thing in the world... but he is still an idiot! HAHAHA! I think that also the thought of the family finally being ALL together for the 1st time since the end of 2004! Moms, Pops, The 3 Boys, Me, the whole shibang! I am so excited!
My life feels so full and no longer empty... I used to worry that the deep loneliness that I felt after breaking up with my man would last for ages... and it did... but eventually everything started to be ok... I no longer needed to be in someones arm to feel complete or not alone... and that was awesome... I could be alone with me and enjoy it... or what Katie called me being Anti Social... hahaha... it is the greatest feeling when you can be with you and not have a care in the world and not wish you were some where else or with some one else... I realized you can't be happy with someone if you are not happy with or within yourself...
I feel like I am finally at the point where im confident again and am enjoying my own company...
Its a great feeling!
Sparkle stick's song of the moment:
Justin Timberlake's : "(Another Song) All over again" (his last performed song at the JT concert)
You've been alone, you've been afraid
I've been a fool
In so many ways
but I would change my life
If you thought you, might try to love me
So please give me another chance
To write you another song
And take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over,
Again
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